


My Best Decision is You

by herecomesawkward



Category: Batgirl (Comics), Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics), Detective Comics (Comics), Red Robin (Comics), Robin (Comics)
Genre: 'cause I have a potty mouth, Crack, F/M, Fluff, Rating for Language, Why?, because I want it to, long-term lies, takes place at Hogwarts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:22:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25170820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herecomesawkward/pseuds/herecomesawkward
Summary: There were three things every returning Hogwarts student knew:1.	Every third day the last week of odd months, the staircases to the fourth floor will turn invisible.2.	Never call Professor Isley Professor Ivy (in her earshot) even though it is really fitting.3.	Professor Drake and Professor Brown abso-fucking-lutely hate each other.
Relationships: Stephanie Brown/Tim Drake
Comments: 10
Kudos: 31





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [so dust off your highest hopes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14127498) by [theragingstorm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theragingstorm/pseuds/theragingstorm). 



> TimSteph? TimSteph. You're welcome internet. This is came from my love of theragingstorms incredible work "so dust off your highest hopes" that is glorious and wonderful. Please do yourself a favor and read it!

There were three things every returning Hogwarts student knew:

  1. Every third day the last week of odd months, the staircases to the fourth floor will turn invisible.
  2. Never call Professor Isley Professor Ivy (in her earshot) even though it is really fitting.
  3. Professor Drake and Professor Brown abso-fucking-lutely hate each other.



In regard to the first years, they learned the first through bad luck, the second through multiple detentions, and the third about ten minutes after the Welcome Feast when Professor Brown had interrupted Professor Drake’s speech with a well-timed “nerd!” coughed into her hand several times at several key moments.

“It was,” Stephanie Brown mused to her husband later that night once they were ensconced in their rooms in the section of the castle reserved for staff and professors, “the perfect way to start off the fall term.”

As Timothy Drake grinned up at her, she knew that he felt the exact same.

Just not enough to resist hitting her with a pillow.

The two had never set out to fool almost the entirety of the population of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry; in fact, when Headmaster Wayne had approached Tim about the job teaching Transfiguration, he had also mentioned that Professor Lance would be going on maternity leave most likely mid-term and there would also be space for a Charms professor if Stephanie would be interested.

The woman, who had been listening at her husband’s office door, had chosen that moment to enter under the polite guise of offering tea and cookies and if you want coffee Timmy, you know where it is in the kitchen, I’m not going to be an enabler.

And, in the defense of most occupants of the castle, when Tim and Stephanie had attended several years before, the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff had spent the majority of that time fighting tooth and wand.

It had only been three weeks after their N.E.W.T.’s and four days before end of term that the two had actually – and suddenly – worked out their differences. When asked, both would mention a prank gone wrong that had involved the two being locked in a cabinet for hours, but if pressed for more, Tim would only turn beet red and stammer and stutter and attempt to change the subject, while Stephanie would produce a smile that could only be described as absolutely filthy. 

However, when they had arrived at the castle a week before term started, Headmaster Wayne’s son Damian had spotted the two of them at breakfast and immediately asked his father why he possibly thought that putting Brown and Drake in the same castle, let alone the same room was a good idea and did he not remember how a wizard’s duel between the two had left the then first-year Damian in the infirmary after a miss aimed hex?

When Stephanie and Tim had looked at each other, they had shared one of those silent conversations that married couples tend to have, before Tim had upended his bowl of porridge over her head.

Headmaster Wayne had only sighed before asking the two to remember that they were now role-models for impressionable students and if they were going to fight, could they please resist themselves from starting any that would involve slinging food across the Great Hall?

Several years had passed since then, and the feud between the bubbly Charms and the snarky Transfiguration professors had only increased in terms of dramatics, deviousness, and renown. It was, in the words of second-year Gryffindor Nell Little, “like a fight between garden gnomes: totally awful and totally entertaining.”

As Tim Drake surveyed his full classroom, he was filled with an increasing sense of dread. It usually took the first-years a couple weeks to truly get settled into their routine. His best friend Conner Kent, the Arithmancy teacher, claimed it was the shock and awe of finally being an actual student at Hogwarts. Tim just chalked it up to finally getting a wand.

Either way, he had to keep a class of first-years at least mostly entertained and on schedule before he could really start to teach.

“I know that you’ve probably done this in every other class, but as you have not done it in mine, when I point to you, please state your name and the most exciting thing you did this summer.”

The administrative stuff always took a couple of days to do, especially if he dragged it out like this, and by the time every first year had spoken, there were five minutes left in class, and Tim was just letling them talk freely until the end, when a girl in the first row raised her hand.

“Yes, Miss…” Before Tim could consult his parchment, the redhead responded.

“West, Irey West.” The girl grinned at him and kept talking all in one breath, “Professor Drake, I was wondering what the most exciting thing you did this summer was?”

Tim could only grin. Four years of doing this and she was the first to turn it back on him. “My wife and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary by going to see the Teen Titans in concert and relive our youth.”

Irey somehow spoke even faster. “You’re married? You don’t wear a ring, what’s your wife’s name?”

Oh shit.

Almost as if the bell sensed his fear, it rang, prompting the students to stand, though they hovered by their desks expectantly. His next class of fourth years entered his classroom from the study hall next door, just in time to hear him say, “Yes, I’m married, and the reason I don’t wear a ring is because after I lost the fifth one and Robin stopped laughing, we both decided that while I didn’t have to wear one, she would be allowed to ridicule me about it until I died.”

“Not until she died?” Chris Kent, one of the fourth-years asked.

Tim just smirked. “If she dies before me, there’s no doubt in my mind that she would wait for me as a ghost, if only to move our things around and make me think I’m going crazy. So yes,” he spoke over his giggling first years who were finally heading towards the door, “she’ll tease me about it until I die.”

While most missed the besotted smile Tim gave at the thought, Irey West and Lian Harper saw it, and walked out the door talking about how sweet it was that Professor Drake really loved his wife.

Jaime Reyes, Garfield Logan, Chris, and the rest of their gang could only focus on finding out who she was.

“Wait, so when did you get married?”

“How did you meet?”

“Is it Robin with an I or a Y?”

“Why have you never talked about her?”

Tim stood at the front of the class, arms crossed over his chest and with the most unimpressed look on his face as the last of his class straggled in.

“We got married five years ago, we met when we went here, Robin with a I, and I’ve never talked about her because I am the teacher and you are my students.”

Chris opened his mouth to protest but before he could speak, Tim followed up with, “and if this class is so interested in learning about her, if you each write me two full parchments worth of reasons you should know, I’ll tell you about her. Now, are we all ready to learn?”

As Tim started his lesson, he missed the looks Chris, Garfield, and Jaime all shot each other, not knowing that he had sealed his fate.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regular posting schedule? Never heard of her.

It was not his fault. It was absolutely not his fault.

Okay, it was definitely his fault. Tim had assumed that while the personal lives of teachers were fairly unknown, no student would do an entire extra hour of work just to learn about his wife.

His wife, who was laughing her ass off.

“This is unbelievable.”

“What, that you undermined five years of work by accident or that thirty teenagers each wrote an essay on why they deserve to know who you’re married to – and took the time to deliver it to your office practically across the castle?”

Tim fixed his wife with a Look. “It’s the latter, and you know it.”

“I assume you already checked to make sure that no one wrote essays for anyone else?”

Tim fixed her with a second Look.

Steph could only cackle at that.

“Laugh it up, love, because tomorrow everyone is going to know that a) I call you Robin, and b) that you married a Ravenclaw.”

Stephanie managed to calm down enough to grin at her husband, tears of mirth in her eye. “Okay, a) I have no shame, b) I have no pride, and c) I love you and can’t wait to shock the entire school.”

And with that pronouncement, she shifted into his lap and rested her head in the crook of his neck, taking solace in his steady presence. Tim just smiled softly down at her. Honestly, Steph was incredible. He couldn’t believe how long it had taken him to realize that, though once he did, he was really rather proud of how quickly he had convinced her to marry him. “Robin…”

“Tim…”

“I really love you, you know that?”

Her husband could be cold and distant and occasionally obsessive, but if there was one thing Steph knew about him, it was that he was totally, completely, madly, and utterly in love with her. So she pushed him down on the bed and told him that, kissing him deeply after each adverb, until he was looking dazedly up at her, love and lust clouding his gaze.

“You are…” Tim could only manage to reach up and brush a stray lock of hair behind her ear, words failing him.

Words failed him a lot around Steph.

His wife grabbed his hand and kissed his palm, uncharacteristic seriousness on her beautiful face.

“We’re a team, Tim. If you want to tell people about us, I’m fine with that. Only…” At that, all her composure was erased by the grin that split across her face. “Only we better find a really great way to do it, because a lie this big deserves a sendoff like Hogwarts has never seen.”

Tim raised an eyebrow at that, meeting Steph’s grin with one of his own.

“What do you have in mind, Rob?”

So Steph pulled him into a sitting position and straddled his lap, all the while whispering a plan so devious and genius that Tim had never been so in love with her – or so turned on. Steph only laughed at him when he groaned that into her shoulder, cupping his face between her hands as she rose onto her knees.

“I know you like it when I’m snarky.” She was practically crooning at him as she stroked his cheeks with her thumbs. “I definitely know you like it when I’m smart. But clever…Mister Drake, if deviousness is what you want, then deviousness is what you’ll get.”

Her husband could only groan at the promise in her eyes, sinking back down to the bed willingly at her soft pressure on his shoulders. Steph’s long blonde hair fell around them, creating a curtain between them and the world. Time seemed to stop as their eyes met and Tim was filled with love and joy and pure bliss. This was his Steph, his funny, beautiful, genius, clever, _evil_ wife.

“Miss Brown, I am at your disposal.”

For a little moment, Steph seemed to pause, her eyes tracing every line and facet on his face, as if burning him in her mind. Then the moment ended when one of the wickedest smirks she had ever shot him flashed across her face and she began to utterly wreck him.

***

Some hours later, Tim jolted awake. Stephanie, who had been laying on his chest, fell back to the bed with a squawk.

“What the hell, Tim. Are you okay?” She sat up and pushed her mass of hair out of the way. She really needed to start tying her hair back when they went to bed, as the time spent brushing it out in the morning was beginning to border on masochistic. Although, Tim did like to play with it…Steph shook her head as if she could physically dispel the thought from her mind. Sexy fun times had been over for a while and it was probably too early to start again.

Definitely too early, she amended as she looked to the clock on her night stand.

“Timmy, it’s three in the morning.”

Her husband turned to her with a crazed look on his face. “Robin, I only said that I’d tell them _about_ you.”

It took a moment for his meaning to sink in, as it was, as she had realized earlier, three in the damn morning, but just a moment. A grin to match the look in his eyes spread across Steph’s face.

“Your evil plan is perfect, but we don’t need to spoil the surprise just yet.”

Their eyes met and Steph began to cackle again.

“Oh, this is going to be _fun_.”

**Author's Note:**

> Two works in one day? Is the world ending?
> 
> I mean, yeah it is kinda, but that has very little to do with my weird posting schedule.


End file.
